Reminiscence...and stupidity

THERE I finally did it...I went down to KB...after a long while...with a friend and my cuz, driving around, memories come flooding back to me...I never knew that my happiest times I acquired since coming back to Brunei 2 year ago would be from a place 90kms from home...but then again thats history now...

But driving there has confirmed one thing for me and that is the food is still better.
And it has also confirmed that driving up and down is still dangerous.

Case in point. We're driving on the Seria road to get to Supa Save, and a car pulls up by the side of the road in front of us, and throws open the door right in our path!!! What the hell?

Oh and the fact that contractors who work on our highways do not have ANY sense of safety. So I was driving my friend's car back down because she was tired, and then this car in front brakes, so I brake, & whoa its slowing down really rapidly..and its thanks to my cousin shouting that there's roadworks..I stop 3 inches from the back bumper of the car in front. I thought it was because there was a slow car in the right lane!!! Whew, thats an $81k car Im driving and its not even mine!! Apparently, the "Danger" sign was right at the back of the parked lorry, right lane of the highway, without warning lights, at dusk. Idiots.

Although all in all, company was good, food was good, shopping for foodstuff for d sisters...all good..save for driving (dis)abilities...Im going to go recharge my batteries..ugh work on Mother's Day...

Added...a tribute which got me thinking.

I happened across my cuz's gf's blog..this a few days after my cuz asked whether his gf could add me into her blog links...so anyway that got me thinking what a lucky person he is...I mean she loves him to death..and even though they are seperated by a sea they are so much in love..and its sad that they cant see each other more regularly although in a way to me it seems that its well deserved. Why do I say that you all may ask...well thinking about it..what exactly constitutes a fulfilling relationship, one that is complete..definately not one which only has happiness..for that can only last for a short while, no, a complete relationship is one which allows for both happiness, trials and tribulations. To taste both the happiness and bitterness and the relief and euphoria of overcoming those bitter moments, now that is a journey to a complete relationship, which makes it stronger, and both parties more appreciative of each other, and hence the love for each other grows..exponentially. This is what I realised, subconsciously known, but never put in action, and hence in the process lost..how sad. Well, as they say, learn from your mistakes, yet in that process lose something (..one?) that you truly love..then again, there is a saying, if you truly love, you will let go..for their happiness is yours as well..or something like that anyway. I think I've butchered a quotation, however no one can accuse me of plagarism now then..I think.

Time flies...

Time flies...its been 3 months already...I wonder how you are..how your life has been, whether you have aced your exams...wondering whether you have changed your status? Recalling the times, I feel happy that I was a part of that, involved in that, to help you...but ultimately in the end, hinder?? I wonder..your 'friend', I hope she aces her exams as well, I think both of you will do fine.Right now, its a chore...sometimes I think what is the purpose of my life..of anyone's, to chase the golden pot at the end of the endless rainbow...is it all worth it..I wonder...its getting to be a drag..this blog..because of everything that happened it gave me solace, but now? What have I gained? I have gained wisdom in learning how to analyse people, God knows I never expected that person to act that way...surprised and saddened me...I wonder...how all of you are doing now...

The weekend is for.. & its a Girl!!!!

Finally its the weekend...been looking forward to this for the whole week...can sleep in and all that..relax, go out & walk the streets...and then check schedule..oops...Im on duty..hahaha anyway its alright...so far so good...its gonna be a short post this one...nothing much happening except that my colleague has just delivered her biggest baby ever!! Its a girl...so that makes her head count 1 boy & 3 girls...congrats to you....now d rest of us jus hv to work harder for d 2 mths of ur maternity leave..its ok....hahaha..n its soo cute...

Incompetence leads to...and then to...?

So Im given a job which is half done..so I gracefully call and follow up..along with a tip to ensure the results can be obtained..and then the *&^%& nurse goes ahead and gives me the wrong thing...so anyway I manage to run the job but not enough sample to finish running everything, call the aformentioned person(gracefully again I might add..) to verify why exactly she cant follow advice...reasons like she will get killed if she asks the patient again a 3rd time..no more specific test tube so she run using another type which caused the problem in the first place..when she knows perfectly well that we have stock of the specific tubes needed...so I grab 3 boxes and deliver it upstairs on my own initiative...and get scolded by the doctor for not specifying that since I have only so little sample I should call and ask which test to do/prioritize????!!!!!

Hello, it is NOT our perogative to ask which tests are to be prioritized..if anything it should be the doctor's perogative to indicate which is more important, or at least the nurse's perogative to ask the doc and indicate which is more important lah....what am I, a fortune teller?? SO let me get this straight, everytime the doctor asks for more than 1 test, I have to call and ask which is more important...wow in that case I would have no more time to do any other work then....then what is the use of a nurse who gets paid more than I but has absolutely no initiative to do her job properly?? Ie ask the doctor to indicate which test is more important, or realise that the patient is difficult and so at least take initiative & use common sense to select a more appropriate tube I mean c'mon will somebody just shoot me here..nothing I do is right apparently...

and this right after I went for therapeutic massage..darn if I had known this would happen today I would have held off and just went tonight instead...oh well, whats done is done, and I have a back which looks like I got hugged by an octopus..yep, I did the traditional Chinese cup suction thingy which supposedly sucks out the 'bad wind' from the body...well, felt lighter..but only for a night...duh considering what happened.. *knocks head in frustration against a wall*

*snaps his neck around looking for where two weeks have gone to...*

Two weeks..nothing happened...day after day..living one day at a time...its all a blur...
so sad...life is like a routine for me...work eat sleep work eat sleep...got a new staff which is great when one staff is going on leave...but training is so difficult when there's loads of work to do..oh well short term pain long term gain...

Oh I'm happy, I finally got a watch to replace my old watch of 7 years...apparently its a combination of 3 yrs of b'day presents at one go...thanks Mum & Dad...

funny conversation with a friend just now...she says that as you go up the executive ladder (ie career path..) the balls go smaller...eg coolies play soccer which is a big 'ball' while the execs in the office play golf which is a 'small' ball...

this was my reply...

"yeah but funny how the higher the ladder you climb the 'stick' gets longer...go figure...

Anyway thats all the energy I have for blogging..I swear Im numbed no more motivation for doing anything..nothing interests me now..I need something interesting to do...thinking..thinking...oh well cant be bothered I think I'll go sleep now...

It matters to me...it is my conscience...not yours

The unrelated:-

Hey there ppl...long time no blog...relatively long for me anyway....whirlwind events keep coming...all at once...a tribute to a person I met only twice...Im sorry to hear about what happened...I hope you are in a better place...

Its been two months and a bit since you left...there's still a gaping hole where you were, the hurt is still there..ebbing, dying, but never fully going away...I cherish the memories, swallow the bitter lesson, I know you are happier for it, then so be it...I can only hope...eventually...
I hope he treats you right..whoever he is or will be...yet again I hope that it will not be? The pain...

To YOU...I sincerely apologize....I couldnt bring myself to continue this way, that would be a leaden burden on my conscience, the fact that you were more so than I, however much hope you had in me, I had to do this, for otherwise, the hurt would be far deeper...for you..I could not bring myself to continue, not in my present frame of mind & heart..in essence a heart divided?That would be a sacrilege to your efforts and YOU deserve better...its not anyone's fault the timing was wrong...I hope you can forgive me...Im sorry.