A post about...

I am tired. Dead tired. Going out 4 nights in a row, in between having to work night call duty, and going out to keep friendships alive, or laying groundwork for my career..I never realised how much of a toll it took on me until today. As I type this I am nodding off over my keyboard..seriously its that bad.

Although in the midst of this I made a new friend, and had a career path opportunity open up for me unexpectedly, makes me feel that finally my life is turning a corner from the dark days of the past few months. Although I think I will need to think this over carefully. Oh yes, speaking of which;

To a certain someone, please, when I tell you that I will be busy tomorrow, please get the hint and DO NOT message me and call me the very NEXT day asking me out for dinner, movie etc. It is self-explanatory that you will get a tongue-lashing or be ignored..especially when the time you call me I am driving down to said place for the interview and am already nervous enough as it is planning what to say/how to answer questions. Get the hint.

Otherwise, it was an ok day, the meeting went well, better than expected, actually. Now is the time for me to do what I need to do and see where this new path takes me.

I look back, with a certain amount of regret for the things which I did/said wrongly, but now I find closure within myself. I now look forward, resolving not to look back anymore, if only to learn the lessons of my past and carry only the lessons for my future. I have also learnt that it is my character which defines myself, who I surround myself with will make me who I am, albeit I admit i need to tone myself in many ways, but also, I do not have to answer to anyone but myself. Just not to step on anyone's toes..I have arrived..

Mother's Day...

This year's Mothers Day for me will go down as the most remembered of all..primarily because we didnt celebrate it on Mothers Day but instead on the Saturday before..but from that experience will be the last time I eat at Tasek Brasserie at Sheraton. Why? Because it wasn't worth it. Although it was BBQ Seafood Night, but compared to our Airport Restaurant, this can't ever hold a candle to that..speaking of which..a lot of people eat there though.

But hey, experiences count and we learn from our mistakes..like the poor BBQ chef :

Looking out of the window to the poolside from our gloriously cool a/c'ed table, I notice the BBQ chef walk in..here I am thinking, its been 15 minutes since my order of BBQ'ed half dozen mussels, where are you going? Oh he's talking to someone who looks important.
*Attacks the remainder of my BBQ'ed prawns*

Well, sad affair that is, although the marinade is unique, something like garlic w butter marinade. Looks up towards the BBQ to check on my food, uhm...why is there a raging flame consuming the BBQ pit and why is that lady silly enough to reach over the flame with her long sleeved baju kurung...looks back at the chef in the dining area still talking to the VIP..hmm...
Trying to get the attention of the chef, I make eye contact with him, making discreet finger jabbing motions towards the poolside.. so he gives me a surprised, eye-raising look when he slowly looks over, and my oh my you should have seen the look on his face as he ran out, dousing the flames and looking at his 'food'..anyway such is luck..haha

New 'old' car

Its interesting. You get emotions and feel joy when you get your new car, from the salesman. The wait, finally over, you sit in the car and smell the new car smell. Look at the mileage:
"Eh, why is it 20kms?"
Salesman (lady) replies "Oh that's cause they have to drive it from the port to inspection to get your license plate bla bla bla."

Understandable, believable. Considering the distance from the LTD and the car yard really is 20kms give or take 5. But this is what I witnessed the other day. On the way to Kiulap on the highway, at around 90kph I was merging into the access lane and notice a car coming up in the mirror..hmm thats a new car with trade plates, and its coming quite fast..zooms past me at my estimate of 120kph with the trade plate battering against the rear bumper due to wind turbulence. Hmm..if i remember correctly, the instruction manual for said car says to take it easy with gentle driving for the first 1000kms..keeping the speed below 80kph. I know, because I spent a month and a half on the highway at 60-80kph while breaking in my own car. (Do you even know how frustrating that is??) But thats not the point..the car is obviously not sold yet because the trade plates are still on..most probably on the way to LTD for the new owners license plates. Lucky him or her. I wonder if he/she will ever realise..the severity of the first 20kms usage.

And if you think thats bad, try this one: We were on the way back home from KB yesterday on the highway..now a certain road show was going on in the Belait district, Im on the right lane at 140kph reasonable right? Suddenly I get highlights, foglights blinding in the rear view mirror and pull over only to see two new luxury cars zoom past at my estimate of 160kph..what??? So much for new car and gentle break-in periods..I wonder...I think at this rate, any car from any showroom can be considered second hand already...No doubt those are allocated demon-strator models for everyone to test and all that..but eventually those cars will be sold to customers as discounted demonstrator models..but hey..160kph??? What about long term reliability? Then again its not my car so I think I'll just leave the topic.

Reminiscence...and stupidity

THERE I finally did it...I went down to KB...after a long while...with a friend and my cuz, driving around, memories come flooding back to me...I never knew that my happiest times I acquired since coming back to Brunei 2 year ago would be from a place 90kms from home...but then again thats history now...

But driving there has confirmed one thing for me and that is the food is still better.
And it has also confirmed that driving up and down is still dangerous.

Case in point. We're driving on the Seria road to get to Supa Save, and a car pulls up by the side of the road in front of us, and throws open the door right in our path!!! What the hell?

Oh and the fact that contractors who work on our highways do not have ANY sense of safety. So I was driving my friend's car back down because she was tired, and then this car in front brakes, so I brake, & whoa its slowing down really rapidly..and its thanks to my cousin shouting that there's roadworks..I stop 3 inches from the back bumper of the car in front. I thought it was because there was a slow car in the right lane!!! Whew, thats an $81k car Im driving and its not even mine!! Apparently, the "Danger" sign was right at the back of the parked lorry, right lane of the highway, without warning lights, at dusk. Idiots.

Although all in all, company was good, food was good, shopping for foodstuff for d sisters...all good..save for driving (dis)abilities...Im going to go recharge my batteries..ugh work on Mother's Day...

Added...a tribute which got me thinking.

I happened across my cuz's gf's blog..this a few days after my cuz asked whether his gf could add me into her blog links...so anyway that got me thinking what a lucky person he is...I mean she loves him to death..and even though they are seperated by a sea they are so much in love..and its sad that they cant see each other more regularly although in a way to me it seems that its well deserved. Why do I say that you all may ask...well thinking about it..what exactly constitutes a fulfilling relationship, one that is complete..definately not one which only has happiness..for that can only last for a short while, no, a complete relationship is one which allows for both happiness, trials and tribulations. To taste both the happiness and bitterness and the relief and euphoria of overcoming those bitter moments, now that is a journey to a complete relationship, which makes it stronger, and both parties more appreciative of each other, and hence the love for each other grows..exponentially. This is what I realised, subconsciously known, but never put in action, and hence in the process lost..how sad. Well, as they say, learn from your mistakes, yet in that process lose something (..one?) that you truly love..then again, there is a saying, if you truly love, you will let go..for their happiness is yours as well..or something like that anyway. I think I've butchered a quotation, however no one can accuse me of plagarism now then..I think.

Time flies...

Time flies...its been 3 months already...I wonder how you are..how your life has been, whether you have aced your exams...wondering whether you have changed your status? Recalling the times, I feel happy that I was a part of that, involved in that, to help you...but ultimately in the end, hinder?? I wonder..your 'friend', I hope she aces her exams as well, I think both of you will do fine.Right now, its a chore...sometimes I think what is the purpose of my life..of anyone's, to chase the golden pot at the end of the endless rainbow...is it all worth it..I wonder...its getting to be a drag..this blog..because of everything that happened it gave me solace, but now? What have I gained? I have gained wisdom in learning how to analyse people, God knows I never expected that person to act that way...surprised and saddened me...I wonder...how all of you are doing now...

The weekend is for.. & its a Girl!!!!

Finally its the weekend...been looking forward to this for the whole week...can sleep in and all that..relax, go out & walk the streets...and then check schedule..oops...Im on duty..hahaha anyway its alright...so far so good...its gonna be a short post this one...nothing much happening except that my colleague has just delivered her biggest baby ever!! Its a girl...so that makes her head count 1 boy & 3 girls...congrats to you....now d rest of us jus hv to work harder for d 2 mths of ur maternity leave..its ok....hahaha..n its soo cute...