Transitional unemployment

It's a funny feeling this..unemployment. Well, in my case, transitional but still its a funny feeling. How do I describe it? Carefree spirits now that I don't have to answer to anyone..that I don't need to show two faces to someone I don't like just because I need something which that person is holding over me at work. Its all gone. Like the blown wind. Feels great. I felt as if a huge burden was lifted off me the moment I put the resignation letter on my boss's table, and a copy on the HR manager's table. Why we ever needed to succumb to someone else's games and politicking just for face value and false power I will never know. Well its all over for me now.

Have fun guys.

If I am to endure such mismanagement and pseudo-capable HOD's (apart from my own HOD) I might as well endure it in another organisation with a higher pay and at least some sort of chance to get sponsored higher education, as well as a mandatory 48 day annual leave. I just have one regret: I will really miss my immediate colleagues. May I stress again the word Immediate. They are the ones who really imparted upon me the invaluable experience they had, and for that I will be eternally grateful. For without that, I would not be able to proceed to where I will be proceeding to careerwise. Anyway, looking forward..the next chapter in life..Target realised. Next target due...hmm....secret!

Oh dear, Health Expo shmucks...

Oh no I've gone and done it again...I've chomped down on my tooth again. Luckily I work in a medical centre so I can get corporate rate for any medical work. As it is, it still cost me a few hundred dollars for a crowning (tooth lah!) and a whale-sized headache due to the dentist giving me an OD on local anaesthesia..and this on one of our busiest days yet...oh well, luckily I got through it and thanks to our locum dentist who managed to squeeze what was supposed to be a week's worth of work into a day.

And the whale sized headache wasn't entirely due to the OD though...I spent 4 harried sessions at the recently concluded Brunei 100 years health expo held recently, giving free glucose tests to the lucky 100 every day.

THAT however enlightened me to a very important factor that Bruneians have. L-U-C-K. Healthcare is free for Bruneians. No matter a simple health check or a surgery procedure, its all free as long as you get a referral from the doctor. Now what this means is that health is grossly undervalued. Grossly as with a capital G. Why do I say so? Imagine this scenario; in fact don't bother, I'll just narrate based on experience at the Health Expo:

Me: Selamat pagi, apa khabar?
Patient: Selamat pagi, apa yang kita buat ni??
Me: Hari ini kita ada free glucose checkup...
Patient: Oh ok...bah apasaja tah..

So as I do the relevant procedures to prepare for checkup..

Me: Ada kita makan pagi tadi??
Patient: Ada....
Me: Orh...bagus bagus..lepas sarapan pagi kan check glucose lah..?
Patient: Ya, saya baru saja minum...teh tarik sama tiga biji gula....
Me: Err...ok..bah mari kita check saja dulu aahh...

Now FYI fasting glucose is around 3.9 to 7.0 mmol/L and random glucose is up till 10.0 mmol/L and anything after that is Onset diabetes Type II.

Me: Aiyor, ini kira tinggi lah..[result came out to be 15.3 frikkin mmol/L]
Patient: Ya, kenapa ah? Aku ada makan ubat diabetis pagi tadi orhh!!!
Me: [*&**^&%^**_] Masih tinggi lah, lepas makan ubat sepatutnya dibawah10.0 woah. Bagus kita ke arah Dietician kami ah, dia akan bagi komen makanan yang sesuai ah..terima kasih..

And over the 4 days, I had this scenario repeated more than 7 times. Are they just blissfully unaware or just don't care? Imagine the hundreds of thousands of $$ being pumped into the health sector just to rectify ignorance like this? Let me reiterate; these people know, they just don't care. They think that after that magic little pill then it can be justified, that teh C and roti canai..that money that could have been funding research or directed to hospital improvements and to actual people that needed surgery or post-health care, rather than spending on medicines which these people take for granted. Or take the other guy whom I tested 19.9 and was IN DENIAL!!! Actually enquired about our Opthalmology services after that result for his failing vision when it was blatantly obvious that diabetes onset was causing the vision problems..hello!!! Wake up and smell the roses.

DID you know that teh tarik/teh C/Milo/soft drinks that you order in restaurants in Brunei have equivalent of 7-8 teaspoons of sugar?? Working in the cardiac centre let me inform the uninformed public that a basic surgery to unblock vessels (PTCA/Angiogram) costs around B$20,000 and that a full CABG bypass surgery costs B$50,000++ per patient. Then let me remind you that arterial blockage is caused by sedentary lifestyle, non-exercise, smoking and the "Nasi-Lemak/Katok Syndrome".
Did you also know that eventually if this continues on, the Brunei government will have to start charging fees for each and every procedure and then the people who will really hurt in their pocket will be these ignorant citizens etc whereas those who genuinely care about their health and follow doctor's advice will be the ones who suffer the most..talk about rotten apples spoiling the whole crate...

WAKE UP BRUNEI..YOUR HEALTH IS THE ASSET OF THE COUNTRY, NOT THE LIABILITY OF THE GOVERNMENT...you guys expect so much from the country but never give back...apaler....

It's a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats to L.C.H. and wife!!! The new addition to the family is a healthy boy!!! Good on ya mate!!! Guess that means not much more time for weekly badminton anymore hey?! Hahaha...come back to Bandar soon ya, baby's gift is waiting for him!! I bet you'll love it too..

Down memory lane...

It's nice to meet you guys..its been what, 4 years or something like that since the class of '99 and whoa everyone's done well hey..like what...4 scholars in each of the top prestigious unis around the world...or everyone's migrated and is making their own mark in the world..great one!!!

Reminiscing over old times and current times, and it struck me just how good we have it here. For all you say it's boring over here and whatnot, did you know there are certain facts that establish that working here is heaps better than outside??

1) Stop complaining about the pay. People in Malaysia get paid half of us AND get income tax again. Or try working in US of A and getting whacked with a 35% total tax bill every paycheck.
Or in real world figures: on paper u earn 2.2k but bring home a real cash amount of 1.6k only.

2) Did you guys in Brunei know what real world petrol prices are? I've had so many people complain to me that their car consumes a lot of fuel. Hey, get a life..I've paid up to $1.40 per litre of petrol before and thats real world oil prices man. Don't go whining about how little your $5 of petrol gets you. In Malaysia $5 gets you from 1 end of the petrol station to the other. Try asking for $5 of petrol in Singapore, at $1.80 a litre I'm sure mineral water bottles hold more.

3) Complain about work, try why don't you. At least you get to go home at 5pm. Others overseas go home at 7pm and some are lucky if they get home by 9.

All in all, I think we've got it pretty good here. And at $0.53 a litre of petrol I'm sure you guys can save up enough money from there for other things..like another car.... :p

What to blog?

Whoa, I think that I am not meant to diet. Seriously. The last time I tried a low carb diet for a week, I ballooned up and ended up not fitting in any pants of mine. And how depressing it was as well. So I ended up going back to eating my normal meals and voila I shrunk back to size. Thank God!! I thought I needed to go for liposuction.

Anyway so apart from that, I've actually become pretty proud of myself. Managed to squirrel away a few coins in the past month or two. I think I'll go buy myself something now..muahahaaha NOT!!

Seriously I think I can..I'm sure I can...I know i can...aahh whatever...

Pleaze be excusing my error for spellin...

I've been tagged, I can't be bothered about tagging others or typing up all the rules again. But it goes along the lines of linking to the person who tagged me and then sharing 7 random facts about myself to the world. Here goes: Pandachu tagged me. So what should I do now? Run and hide? WHoops this is not kindy anymore. Anyway..sharp eyed hawks would have noticed that I accidentally spelt the ship's name wrongly, it's supposed to be the MV Doulos..my thousand apologies...anyway here goes the

7 Random facts about myself:

1) I hate my hair. Short its too spiky and makes me look like a goddamn rambutan.durian mish mash hybrid. Long and I look like a bum. Why can't I have silky hair which listens to me and my gel?

2) I love my sisters to bits. I just wish that they didn't stay in their own fantasy world so much and come down to earth and have some common sense regarding street smarts.

3) I love cars. I'm a guy. Enough said.

4) Crap I can't come up with another 4 facts lah...okay maybe this one: I can't stand idiocy and non-commonsensical actions.

5) I'm really at a loss here....

Ok I give up. Actually I don't. I just think that those who are reading this blog will judge me based on 7 facts about myself? How is that different to the hypocrisy of judging a person by the 1st impression? So this is what I'll do..Drop me a comment whoever of you wants to know me better, rather than rely on 7 facts. Only single females need reply. Hahahaha j/k.

MV DOULAS

Finally I got to experience for myself this floating wonder of a 'bookship' feted in history as the 2nd oldest ship still in service after the TITANIC. But what is with the QUEUE?? I think most people just wanted either a slice of history for themselves or have never experienced the novelty of having a cruise ship open to public (myself included mind you, but I was there more for the books, honest!)

All puns aside though, I was expecting a really wide array of book titles not available here (snigger!) over the whole levels of the ship..but nonetheless it was an experience. Ahh yes, the experience..of people jumping Q..walking across the queue lines like it was a starter's line at a running track..or the uneducated-female-Amazonian-overfed-thick skulled-empty headed-barbarian who was going to slap my 10 yr old sister just because her backpack brushed against her cheap handbag..REALLY!

And she was the one who cut the Q in front of us too!! The nerve of some people..

The Challenge: just got a LOT harder

I don't know why this happens to me. Everytime I start something, I always get setbacks. Granted most of them were minor but this one, whoo-wee..what a major setback.

Saving money is hard, granted I think its actually easy..if there are no sudden expenditures coming up your way. Saving really is easy for me, after all its not like I go shopping or buy new stuff here and there, all I do is eat, really. I already exhausted my want of spending on my car a while back, pretty much satisfied with it now, worked the spending out of my system and was planning to buckle down and start saving. But just when I have given myself a master plan and target and then boom, another major expenditure sets me back.

I've got another destination to go to. Its expensive. Ouch. There goes the money which I had earmarked for the next two months savings. Ticket also booked already, on my card even. Whoa, I guess I really have to ramp up the OT's this month and next month. I can already feel the pressure and pain...bring it on.

The Challenge: "Haven't seen you in a long time, buy me a drink!"

Not a good start to the challenge I must say. After putting in a double OT shift I decided to meet up with a friend whom I've not seen for many moons. First thing she says is "Hey long time no see, buy me a drink la!" Haha..there goes $11.70 or whatever it is in drinks at the Bean. Oh well.
I must say Im pretty pleased with myself though. I don't go out as often, and the times I do I don't go all out on food like I used to.

Well, $3 lunches and the occasional tuna over rice with cheese, microwaved. Total cost $2.40. Funnily enough it tasted good. Well better than the $4.50-$5.00 I used to spend on Thai food for lunch. Not like I had any choice. Why oh why did all the half-decent, quick-serving restaurants that decided to open in Jerudong had to be Thai beats me. And the decent Chinese restaurant nearest to where I'm stationed happens to be in Sengkurong, 15 minutes away. Don't you even dare to mention WYWY.

Anyway treated myself to a Root Beer float just now, $2.50. Man I'm splurging, hahaha. Doing this is starting to feel good in a way, its something I can use to micro-pace myself, mini-targets if you will, to the biggie. Stay tuned.

The Challenge

Woah its been a long time since my last blog: so shoot me! I've been busy and now even busier considering we're picking up the pace..I've had an interesting month to say the least. We have a new colleague who happens to be the sister of an old acquaintance. She has discipline like no tomorrow (Virgo bah!); can save and save to the point of being accused of stingy. But Virgo's also have another trait: Man, can they talk!!!! Trust me I've 2 female friends and a female acquaintance who are Virgo's and the character is similar across the board. Not that I'm complaining, merely making an observation so don't shoot me down in a torrent of spoken words and pincushioned voodoo dolls.

Anyway she inspired me to try something that I have never tried before. With all commitments financial which every working person must saddle, she has been living on the grand total of $300 a month. Including petrol. Daily commuting. From KB. Granted she has no car loan and she eats like someone auditioning for "Ms Anorexic of the Year". But she can do it, as well as inspired her own partner to do it.

So in this day and age of revolving loans, credit and whatnot, I have embarked on the challenge of living on $300 a month, every month. Why? Because I think I am a sucker for challenges. And also it wouldnt hurt the wallet as such. Now, I am doing this differently however. I've got car loans and other financial commitments, car upkeep and general maintenance to pay every month so living within this amount will be slightly more challenging. And there is a target I am aiming for so that makes it legit.

Those who know (or should it be knew) me well should know that I had 5 primary goals I wanted out of life. And those same people will have known that I had already achieved 3/5 of them. Well, time for Goal Number 4. Wish me luck, God knows I'll need it for the peserverance. Self discipline and money never went together in my vocabulary.

Check out my progress and cheer me on or shoot me down, or even drop some hints on that all-dandy money saving tip you all have. Ideas are what I want!! $$$$$$$gambadeyoo!!!

What the...!!@!!!

The weather is out to get me..I swear its out to get me. The nights I work, weather is raining cats, dogs, the whole of Noah's ark and I don't get a call. Trust me I'm eternally grateful for that. Who would want to be woken up in the middle of a rainstorm at midnight thereabouts to drive to do work? Not me, and I'm assuming not any of you out there either. Here's the catch. The next day where I'm free to go out at night the weather is perfect, a bit chilly, no rain and I get an emergency call to go back to assist. WHAT THE ***** is going on?? It's a conspiracy out to get me to stay at home!

And because of that I haven't been able to bike even once since the 25km expedition. Like the other evening, rushed home from work, put the bike rack on the car, put the bike on the car and secure it properly, change and then the very SECOND I step out onto the porch it starts raining.

Thanks...I think..maybe I had my hobbies reversed, should've explored all the eateries now and bike the last time when the weather was perfect almost every night of the week. I need to invert myself maybe everything will go right.. :)

Don't try to be a hero

Good news: I've finally resurrected a hobby, or interest..or whatever you want to call it. I can't believe that I didn't start this earlier..considering I enjoyed it so much last time. I guess the advent of the driving license sidelined this hobby for a while :) Anyway so there I was thinking what in the world to do about my expanding waistline because I don't want to go to JPMC gym its always full. And Fitness Zone to me is just overpriced and full of posers. So what to do leh?

*looks downstairs and discovers a vaguely bicycle shaped dust mound* oh yeah lets give that a try hehe..brought it to the shop and spent an ungodly amount of money fixing it up (although it was cheaper than buying a new bike) and was 'coerced' into joining a bicycle expedition. Now lets get this clear, I hadn't been on a bike for 4 years, well out of shape due to the project of tasting every half decent restaurant in this country and I signed up for a 25km expedition!!!

I wonder what made me do that. Now I'm got sore legs, tomorrow the hamstrings will probably follow and what-not. Oh and a certificate. But you know what? I really enjoyed it. Chasing the pack, trying to keep up with the veterans (surprisingly I wasn't eating THAT much dust), all about the mental focus on a point to chase. It's all good. I might pursue this hobby along and see how far I can take it. Hopefully can get fast enough to join one of the inter-country expeditions although thats many moons away...

On Korean Food and why we should emulate them.

I just realised after being back for a week or so that we actually eat pretty unhealthily over here. I mean lets see what we have available for snacks, easily accessible kind I mean: nasi katok, deep fried stuff, fried noodles and whatnot, BBQ smoked chicken wings/fish etc. I'm talking about cheap, daily available and not those 'once in a blue occasion' kind of snacks. Thats kind of unhealthy. Consider that over in Korea, at 11pm, we were able to sit down at a roadside stall and order stewed rice cakes in spicy sauce, with soup. Or the fact that snacks for them means a 1000won (Approx B$1.70) bar of sushi (I mean huge roll, not like Excapade miniscule type of sushi roll).

Or take drinks. They sell fruit drinks and water mostly. I simply could not see any Coke, 7-up anywhere. Why? Because they were promoting their own drinks such as pine bud drink, energiser drinks, fruit sodas, chilled teas equivalent to Season's Cincau drink. They even sell milk in 350mL cartons in quantities that we in Brunei stock on Coke and Pepsi. Talk about a health conscious society.

You understand where I'm getting at. No wonder they are mostly lithe and slim. There is one downside. In an 8 day tour, by the 5th day we had eaten most of the national dishes, the ones you simply have not arrived in Korea if you have not eaten them. Korean bbq, bimimbap, steamboat, etc. Bland, mostly. Except the BBQ. That was really great.

Thats why I found myself, at 11 30pm, at Sinchon shopping area, looking at a 24hr Mc D's. Sad you might think, but for all those who have only eaten McD's in Singapore, Brunei or Malaysia, even Australia, you should really try the beef in Korea. OMG, it tastes SO much better!!! A bacon deluxe double cheeseburger, with fries and a Coke Zero. For 5500KRW, it was well worth it. Apparently the beef in Japan is better yet. I can't wait to try. And that's where I found myself at the airport, craving for a Bacon deluxe cheeseburger but no Mc D's. So what to do, go 2nd best and wallop Burger King. Problem number two was that I had run out of Korean Cash.

I can say it right now, I have never enjoyed a bacon deluxe double cheeseburger so much, especially when it was paid for using a VISACARD. Desperation knows no boundaries.

BAAACCCKKKK!!!! :D

Finally got the time to blog..after a hectic 8 day trip to Seoul..weather was raining, we encountered mild typhoon-heavy rains, oh and one other thing I learnt; try not to go shopping with such a big group. And not with shopaholics. I thought I was a shopaholic (even if its mostly window shopping) but whoa...you're in a totally different league...I mean arriving at the hotel at 9+pm then go straight out for shopping right after checking in until 1 something am, spending 300k KRW, on the 1ST night itself, getting lost !!! I also won't mention the other 4 days of shopping 'till 3 30am then waking up for morning call 7.20am for the tour. Walau, damn "keng" eh..either that or you're full of energy. I salute you. Of course *blushing* I was also quite interested with the shopping lah...hehe so its not (entirely :) ) your fault that I'm writing this blog..

It was fun, really fun, everyone was great..visited a local Korean pub/club style, visited Sub_Zero Ice Bar where outside was a darn humid 24 deg n the pub was -10 deg C..imagine using Alaskan style winter clothes to visit a bar whose interior is carved out of ice, even the stools, bartop and drinks 'cups'..Kudo's to either our socio-communication skills or maybe our tour guide really thought we were giving him an easy time, that he paid for our (6 of us) dinner, and entrance fee (KRW15,000 each!) to the Ice Bar. Cool!! Eating out in Korea is not cheap. Case in Point: McD's Bacon Double Cheeseburger Meal KRW5500~B$9.00

Oh and by the way, all that hype about Korean girls being really as beautiful as they look on TV..well its 70% true. No offense to any ladies reading this post, but we all have to understand population dynamics (??)..its simple, there's just more of them in total, therefore there is a higher percentage chance of happening across the more beautiful 'normal' local ones.
And it didnt help that our tour guide whose a guy, half Taiwanese-half Korean, brought us to his local hangout which is situated smack-bang in the middle of 3 universities, one of which is the top women's university in S. Korea. You tell me lah, how not to be able to see them leh???!!!!

Oh and by the way, I have to say this lah...I couldnt help but notice, Korean guys really do look that good lor...I mean I only notice opposite sex but yeah, Korean guys do look good. That can be verified by my female tour counterparts as well..hehe..

Anyway...before I start sounding homosexual...
The tour was well worth the money spent, there were so many places in the itenary, the studio set of Jewel in the Palace which is about twice the size of our Royal Regalia Museum, historical palaces, war/traditional Korean culture museums, the many places of shopping, Seoul Tower where one of the Korean movie scenes was shot..pity the weather didnt permit us to visit Namiseon Island, scene of Winter Sonata shooting. Trust me we were in the bus on the way when the rain just poured down, flooding the roads and blowing signboards over, I would NOT want to be on a ferry at that moment en-route to Namiseon Island. Its not fun being stuck in traffic for 4 hrs. Oh and btw, I'm really sick of looking at 3 brands of Korean made motorcar, 90% of which are either in white, black or silver.

AND I can't believe my luck!!! We just got off the bus on one of the last days when we stumbled across a film shoot..live, with cameras rolling and crew-camera trucks. And I managed to take a few photos live, up close, paparazzi style, of a Korean Film Star!!! One thing I can say is: they are really stick thin. That is the most appropriate description I can give.

Well, thats it for now, pictures will be uploaded to my friendster site( http://www.friendster.com/garyviosblogspot ) soon, when I get the time and patience to sit down n upload them...stay tuned...

Wow I can't wait to see what Korea will look like in winter, or maybe I'll just go to Japan..hehehehe..

Countdown.

The day is finally here!!! Boy I can't describe exactly how glad I am that the day is here, especially the last 5 days building up to it. All I'm going to say is I really deserve this trip. Yeah by the way I think those who read my last post should have picked up my typo. My bad :)

Man, I deserve this trip. Anyone who has been given the responsibility of coaching his colleague who takes 20 seconds to open a word document... anyway never mind. It's not my ultimate responsibility(aah the joys of being a mere employee...) so "Good luck!!" to my boss for these next 8 days in supervising & coaching him to handle the 3 sections I'm currently responsible for. I tried. May your remaining hairs remain intact. I will pray for you.

2 more days..then I'm outta here..

Whew, its been killer..just because of one phone call; "Do you want to go to ?" That was 2 weeks ago in the lead up to today. It also involved the scheduling of my night duty to *gasp* working 1st,3rd & 5th Aug. Just so I dont load up my night duty AFTER my holiday. Stupid idea. As I write my blog now, its been a record 3 nights of sleeping at 12-1am, getting woken up at 3-3.30am for work, getting 1 hrs sleep then waking up at 6am for regular office hours duty. Now what in the world possessed me to schedule THAT?

Im thinking about the cliche'd "need a holiday after my holiday" statement. Boy I hope that doesn't come true..but apart from that, I also subscribe to the statement "suffer now, enjoy later". Right. All cynics please repeat after me: "Wahlau eh, suffer so darn teruk dee, still got energy to enjoy meh?" I hope not.

Boy, Im looking forward to this break. Away from here, a few thousand kays away (5 hrs@230++kph to be exact), away from reality of life, away from normalcy, just to take a breather. Apparently I'm not the only one. So she says as well. The one who asked me to go along. It's going to be an interesting 8 days in S. Korea.

.....

Climate change!!! I have never experienced such things in my whole life here in Brunei (and that spans over 2 decades!!!) Monsoon rains I have experienced, flooding, even into the house, but never have I experienced such strong winds..mind you this is the 2nd time and I was at home! The 1st time was Friday night when I was at work..mind you I work by the sea, and its really scary to look out the windows and see total darkness illuminated by flashing lightning streaks repeatedly and seeing in those flashes the heavy and heady waves breaking ominously on the beach just 50m away from the window. And to think I parked under a tree!! I expected my car to be flattened. And tonight again, cooped up at home wondering how much stronger the winds could be, watching forlonly at my poor babe being mercilessly battered by the winds and rain..argh..

A post for the....

....due to the sensitive nature of the last post, I will be deleting it after my period of calm returns...so dont be surprised if the posts dont seem to match up..that means that it has 'expired'. Just watched Transformers, and omg that has to be the best movie I have ever watched. Period. Im getting the DVD9 when it comes out, it is so worth it.

Oh what a night!!!

Lucky lucky...was given an invite to the preview launching of the new C-class Merc (that is such a beautiful car but why is the side profile so much like an E90 3 series?) ..so I brought the sisters there..was late, felt underdressed and had to sign in the guestbook..aah sorry, no name card, (Sorry, but I dont rate a high enough salary or position to get my own card) so I had to fill in the blank cards..whoa lo and behold, there was a lucky draw and of all the people there, I got one of the only two prizes...I am now a proud owner of a genuine Mercedes Benz Collection Chrono watch..what a beautiful and lucky ending to the day!! Im smiling to sleep now...zzzzz:)

How illogical??

I say, I've seen some dumb things done in my life..but I tell you, what I saw just now must be the dumbest thing Ive ever seen done. I was at a friend's audio accessories shop and there was a very nice 9 mth old BMW 3 series sitting there (bear with me, my description says car freak, so expect posts in this vein to crop up regularly ok?) having its interior being taken out.

Why and who in the world would take out the full leather interior of a 9 mth old $80k car to install speakers which are poorer quality than those which came with the car itself? For God's sake, it comes equipped with BMW Professional audio system where all the components are frequency matched to give the best sound and you rip it out to install your so-called idea of better sound which sounds like the thrown together $600 system in my 20k car??

Oh the best part is, there was a huge aS* speaker installed at the footrest (yes, I am NOT kidding!) right next to the brake pedal..may I shoot the person whose idea it was to install it there? Please? Or at least let me take a hockey stick to his head? He probably rides a bicycle to work and does not know what the concept of driver safety is. Or his legs may have ears to listen to said speaker.

The owner who bought this car from a previous owner said that there has been a few times where he stepped on the speaker to emergency brake..ok. Applause deserved to your initiative to remove said speaker before lives are lost..by stepping on the speaker to brake. Probably will do us all a favour by smashing it so we dont have to listen to poor quality sound. Speaker in the driver's footwell, what a genius...

My blogsite is finally up...

Yess!!! Ive finally bitten the bullet and done it...it is still under heavy construction as Ive run out of ideas but for now it will have to do...

...my blogsite for Toyota Vios accessories.. http://garyvios.blogspot.com. I am happy, because now there is another dimension of sorts for the awareness that there is someone offering quality alternative to shops in terms of Toyota Vios modification..

There will be the focus for all the things I have on offer..I will also eventually offer a 'bulletin board' for 2nd hand stuff and it wont be restricted to car stuff only..keep looking, who knows you might find something you like...help me spread the word, or if you have frustrated friends who do not know where to get certain stuff for their car, who knows, I might be able to help, or point him/her to someone who can help...

What a weekend...such a blast!!

OK whose idea was it to have a picnic at Meragang beach? It was my aunt's..who never even came..right...but it was soooo fun!!!! of the whole family invite only 3 families came, 3rd uncle's, youngest uncle's & ours...and what fun it was!!! BBQ, sandcastles, hmm...football with the kids...either Im old or the kids nowadays are too energetic...hahahaha..we all had a blast, the kids had a blast of a time, and that's the most important thing...family bonding. We should do this more often, that way we keep our familial ties strong, which is an important thing in today's day & age of work-sleep-work mentality..anyways I'll be signing off now cos cuzzie came to split a bottle (again) of white...good dayzzzzzzzzzzz..........

Admission:Addict..

Sigh. It is difficult, for me, to face the cold hard truth. I finally realised that after all the scoffing and "never will be"'s and "..such a waste of time" that I ended up being what I profusely refused to be..an addict. The world is unfair. Why does it tempt me so in such a way? But now I understand everyone else who swear by this addiction. Why? Precisely because it is such a waste of time. However it allows us to, for a moment in time (okok 4 hours) to be transported into another fantasy world, allowing us to escape the reality of life and be in another.

I am talking about the drama; thrilling, yet full of suspense of not knowing what will eventually come next, about all the predictions and "Oh no, it can't be him/her!!!" and the "Oh my God, will you just tell him that you actually do like him and stop acting so idiotic and face-saving."

Yes, I think I am addicted to drama. Not Korean, because funnily enough, I prefer Taiwanese. Dramas I mean. How do I know Im addicted? Try this: stayed up for 2 nights in a row till 1am to start one drama and for the grand finale because the last 4 discs were so exciting that I stayed up till 3.30am!!! Ok so the Alfregato kept me awake which I didnt mean to. So what am I supposed to do? Lie awake tossing and turning in bed trying to sleep? DO something productive and finish it off then! I am addicted. Now I know. Ouch.

Learn from experience..accept the consequences...

...like what happened to me yesterday. Now everyone knows coffee makes you awake, same as everyone knows eating too much meat is asking for a coronary but then again, everyone knows free advice is the worst advice to accept. Like me, coffee actually makes me sleep.scratch that, coffee in moderation makes me sleepy. However, to my agony I found out otherwise..
Like the Ice Blended Latte I had at Caf Au Lait. Not bad, nice destressing drink I suppose. Then friends call; and being lazy to move get them to come over for dinner at the same place. Thats when it all goes downhill..because with a latte in me, I definately should not have ordered the Alfregato (is that how I should spell it, such is the dire in me, in my caffeine induced tiredness) for dessert. Alfregato is EVIL. In Capital letters, at times after 7pm. Why? Because its espresso coffee base, with vanilla ice cream and Oreo + chocolate chip toppings. Why is that evil?

Because...I was wide awake, full of energy, having to watch a drama series, up till 3 30am...just because I had that shot of caffeine in me..from now on, no coffee after 7pm for me. I dont think I can take the awakeness..especially not when I have to work the next day. Ouch. Cue yawning every 10 minutes and drooping eyes..

Chicken bone 1: tooth 0

Ouch. Last night was a night I would prefer to forget. That'll teach me not to chomp down on fried chicken ever again. As in *chomp*, then "Craaaacckkkk" then "Uh oh!". There goes half my tooth. Luckily Dental clinic managed to squeeze me in today for a filling, otherwise I'd look like some half toothed ogre with pronunciation of fish as "fwiisshh"...d classic broken tooth smile which causes everyone to stare at me....for the wrong reasons....anyway its all good nw, Ive got a full head of teeth, pity I cant say the same for brains though...oh well...life's like dat..

Another week has gone...

Funny how some people are..take me for example. I was blogging almost everyday for a while when I just started, then slowly it died off like a train running out of steam climbing to Genting..not that there's any train going up to Genting, but you all intellectual readers know what I mean..

But anyway since its the weekend, I might as well write something. Beats sitting at home and looking at the fishes swim inside a 4 by 6 tank..you know the score..fish goes left, you look left, fish goes right, you look right..riiiggghhhtt...as if I spend my time in front of the aquarium looking at fish...although I believe it can be therapeutic but to me it seems like a waste of time..as you gather from the above, I can be quite impatient.

Like yesterday. Now everyone knows the perils of taking on the Kiulap roundabout at your own risk. It should be called Kill-lap roundabout. Coming out from the Baiduri Bank exit to the roundabout access road, now there's a double line which means "do not cross over into the underpass, use the roundabout." Apparently to some people it means "Stop, and wait for traffic to clear then cross line into roundabout." Never mind that there's a long line of cars behind, or that you're blatantly breaking Road Traffic Rules. After all, you do not overtake when there's a double line which demarcates a blind corner coming up, do you? What makes this situation different? So I sounded the horn. Yes, I 'tooted' him. And you know what? He crossed over anyway, and then slowed down to glare at me from the next lane! Uhh...??? By all means, break the rules but please not at the expense of others. If one of the people reading this is the Honda Civic driver at that time, I welcome you to come over and I'll give you an earful about the Traffic Rules....talk about stoopid drivers...

...like the time when I was on said roundabout in A.M. traffic, and this KSPS driver decides to stop in the 2nd lane, right in front of me, just because he/she didnt know where to go. By all means, drive slowly, crawl even, but please do not stop. You are asking for a rear-end remodelling, which in Brunei means a probable ear and body remodelling, and then wallet reducing experience. Not a nice experience I can tell you. Anyway lets all rejoice in the weekend and enjoy (not!) the new week. Ugh, Monday.

Imperial Jade..

So there I was slumming around at home, trying to figure out where to go for dinner, that's a difficult decision considering I've tried most of the restaurants around town already, when my cousin pipes up with the 2nd Flr restaurant at Riverview Hotel. Now last I remember of this restaurant was about 2 or 3 years ago, dirty carpets and so-so food; actually, scratch that and replace with downright horrible food. Apparently they have renovated, and so when I walked in I have to say I was impressed. Its a nice decor scheme, and to top it off, the food is actually decent now. But the most impressive thing about it was the service. The way they know when to discreetly disappear or appear, or when to replace the cutlery, and the professional way they handled the patrons; I have yet to see such service anywhere else except Seri Kamayan or Deal's@Sheraton. Impressive. Although for out and out food quality I would still endorse Seri Kamayan..there is a reason why most people still elect to hold their weddings there..

Arguments...

Why do people argue? It is pointless? Or is it something else deeper that people use to communicate? Case in point:- (Ref last post) Today I met up with said friend..who comes up to me and states that she did not and was not expecting me to reply her messages..although from past experience I would expect otherwise..but thats a moot point because she says that she gets my point. My whole point now is, why are we even arguing? Is it because you want to communicate with me? The me who doesnt manage to communicate with you because I am too busy with work and whatnot..Is there nothing else or is it precisely because there is something in the background that you choose to argue? Oh hold on, its me who's arguing. Im sorry, but hey c'mon I know that Im straightforward..YOU know that Im straightforward and I think that is what plays a role in how you choose a friend, yet when I am straightforward with you Im now considered hurtful and rude? You confuse me:- Please explain. So I am to be a double-faced person in front of you compared to being around you? Sorry but I dont think I can do that. But anyway, referring to my previous post you state today that you have got the point, but then you still argue and say that you were never expecting my reply? Refer above. Then just prepare to feel the wrath for you are then trying only to justify yourself in the end of the day to get the upper hand. People reading this might think Im being really arrogant and full of myself but then again, making that judgement without knowing the whole story would show up exactly what kind of person you are then. Feel free to think what you will. After all this post is only what I feel and is not representative of the whole wide world's judgement of right and wrong, skewed it may be.

A post about...

I am tired. Dead tired. Going out 4 nights in a row, in between having to work night call duty, and going out to keep friendships alive, or laying groundwork for my career..I never realised how much of a toll it took on me until today. As I type this I am nodding off over my keyboard..seriously its that bad.

Although in the midst of this I made a new friend, and had a career path opportunity open up for me unexpectedly, makes me feel that finally my life is turning a corner from the dark days of the past few months. Although I think I will need to think this over carefully. Oh yes, speaking of which;

To a certain someone, please, when I tell you that I will be busy tomorrow, please get the hint and DO NOT message me and call me the very NEXT day asking me out for dinner, movie etc. It is self-explanatory that you will get a tongue-lashing or be ignored..especially when the time you call me I am driving down to said place for the interview and am already nervous enough as it is planning what to say/how to answer questions. Get the hint.

Otherwise, it was an ok day, the meeting went well, better than expected, actually. Now is the time for me to do what I need to do and see where this new path takes me.

I look back, with a certain amount of regret for the things which I did/said wrongly, but now I find closure within myself. I now look forward, resolving not to look back anymore, if only to learn the lessons of my past and carry only the lessons for my future. I have also learnt that it is my character which defines myself, who I surround myself with will make me who I am, albeit I admit i need to tone myself in many ways, but also, I do not have to answer to anyone but myself. Just not to step on anyone's toes..I have arrived..

Mother's Day...

This year's Mothers Day for me will go down as the most remembered of all..primarily because we didnt celebrate it on Mothers Day but instead on the Saturday before..but from that experience will be the last time I eat at Tasek Brasserie at Sheraton. Why? Because it wasn't worth it. Although it was BBQ Seafood Night, but compared to our Airport Restaurant, this can't ever hold a candle to that..speaking of which..a lot of people eat there though.

But hey, experiences count and we learn from our mistakes..like the poor BBQ chef :

Looking out of the window to the poolside from our gloriously cool a/c'ed table, I notice the BBQ chef walk in..here I am thinking, its been 15 minutes since my order of BBQ'ed half dozen mussels, where are you going? Oh he's talking to someone who looks important.
*Attacks the remainder of my BBQ'ed prawns*

Well, sad affair that is, although the marinade is unique, something like garlic w butter marinade. Looks up towards the BBQ to check on my food, uhm...why is there a raging flame consuming the BBQ pit and why is that lady silly enough to reach over the flame with her long sleeved baju kurung...looks back at the chef in the dining area still talking to the VIP..hmm...
Trying to get the attention of the chef, I make eye contact with him, making discreet finger jabbing motions towards the poolside.. so he gives me a surprised, eye-raising look when he slowly looks over, and my oh my you should have seen the look on his face as he ran out, dousing the flames and looking at his 'food'..anyway such is luck..haha

New 'old' car

Its interesting. You get emotions and feel joy when you get your new car, from the salesman. The wait, finally over, you sit in the car and smell the new car smell. Look at the mileage:
"Eh, why is it 20kms?"
Salesman (lady) replies "Oh that's cause they have to drive it from the port to inspection to get your license plate bla bla bla."

Understandable, believable. Considering the distance from the LTD and the car yard really is 20kms give or take 5. But this is what I witnessed the other day. On the way to Kiulap on the highway, at around 90kph I was merging into the access lane and notice a car coming up in the mirror..hmm thats a new car with trade plates, and its coming quite fast..zooms past me at my estimate of 120kph with the trade plate battering against the rear bumper due to wind turbulence. Hmm..if i remember correctly, the instruction manual for said car says to take it easy with gentle driving for the first 1000kms..keeping the speed below 80kph. I know, because I spent a month and a half on the highway at 60-80kph while breaking in my own car. (Do you even know how frustrating that is??) But thats not the point..the car is obviously not sold yet because the trade plates are still on..most probably on the way to LTD for the new owners license plates. Lucky him or her. I wonder if he/she will ever realise..the severity of the first 20kms usage.

And if you think thats bad, try this one: We were on the way back home from KB yesterday on the highway..now a certain road show was going on in the Belait district, Im on the right lane at 140kph reasonable right? Suddenly I get highlights, foglights blinding in the rear view mirror and pull over only to see two new luxury cars zoom past at my estimate of 160kph..what??? So much for new car and gentle break-in periods..I wonder...I think at this rate, any car from any showroom can be considered second hand already...No doubt those are allocated demon-strator models for everyone to test and all that..but eventually those cars will be sold to customers as discounted demonstrator models..but hey..160kph??? What about long term reliability? Then again its not my car so I think I'll just leave the topic.

Reminiscence...and stupidity

THERE I finally did it...I went down to KB...after a long while...with a friend and my cuz, driving around, memories come flooding back to me...I never knew that my happiest times I acquired since coming back to Brunei 2 year ago would be from a place 90kms from home...but then again thats history now...

But driving there has confirmed one thing for me and that is the food is still better.
And it has also confirmed that driving up and down is still dangerous.

Case in point. We're driving on the Seria road to get to Supa Save, and a car pulls up by the side of the road in front of us, and throws open the door right in our path!!! What the hell?

Oh and the fact that contractors who work on our highways do not have ANY sense of safety. So I was driving my friend's car back down because she was tired, and then this car in front brakes, so I brake, & whoa its slowing down really rapidly..and its thanks to my cousin shouting that there's roadworks..I stop 3 inches from the back bumper of the car in front. I thought it was because there was a slow car in the right lane!!! Whew, thats an $81k car Im driving and its not even mine!! Apparently, the "Danger" sign was right at the back of the parked lorry, right lane of the highway, without warning lights, at dusk. Idiots.

Although all in all, company was good, food was good, shopping for foodstuff for d sisters...all good..save for driving (dis)abilities...Im going to go recharge my batteries..ugh work on Mother's Day...

Added...a tribute which got me thinking.

I happened across my cuz's gf's blog..this a few days after my cuz asked whether his gf could add me into her blog links...so anyway that got me thinking what a lucky person he is...I mean she loves him to death..and even though they are seperated by a sea they are so much in love..and its sad that they cant see each other more regularly although in a way to me it seems that its well deserved. Why do I say that you all may ask...well thinking about it..what exactly constitutes a fulfilling relationship, one that is complete..definately not one which only has happiness..for that can only last for a short while, no, a complete relationship is one which allows for both happiness, trials and tribulations. To taste both the happiness and bitterness and the relief and euphoria of overcoming those bitter moments, now that is a journey to a complete relationship, which makes it stronger, and both parties more appreciative of each other, and hence the love for each other grows..exponentially. This is what I realised, subconsciously known, but never put in action, and hence in the process lost..how sad. Well, as they say, learn from your mistakes, yet in that process lose something (..one?) that you truly love..then again, there is a saying, if you truly love, you will let go..for their happiness is yours as well..or something like that anyway. I think I've butchered a quotation, however no one can accuse me of plagarism now then..I think.

Time flies...

Time flies...its been 3 months already...I wonder how you are..how your life has been, whether you have aced your exams...wondering whether you have changed your status? Recalling the times, I feel happy that I was a part of that, involved in that, to help you...but ultimately in the end, hinder?? I wonder..your 'friend', I hope she aces her exams as well, I think both of you will do fine.Right now, its a chore...sometimes I think what is the purpose of my life..of anyone's, to chase the golden pot at the end of the endless rainbow...is it all worth it..I wonder...its getting to be a drag..this blog..because of everything that happened it gave me solace, but now? What have I gained? I have gained wisdom in learning how to analyse people, God knows I never expected that person to act that way...surprised and saddened me...I wonder...how all of you are doing now...

The weekend is for.. & its a Girl!!!!

Finally its the weekend...been looking forward to this for the whole week...can sleep in and all that..relax, go out & walk the streets...and then check schedule..oops...Im on duty..hahaha anyway its alright...so far so good...its gonna be a short post this one...nothing much happening except that my colleague has just delivered her biggest baby ever!! Its a girl...so that makes her head count 1 boy & 3 girls...congrats to you....now d rest of us jus hv to work harder for d 2 mths of ur maternity leave..its ok....hahaha..n its soo cute...

Incompetence leads to...and then to...?

So Im given a job which is half done..so I gracefully call and follow up..along with a tip to ensure the results can be obtained..and then the *&^%& nurse goes ahead and gives me the wrong thing...so anyway I manage to run the job but not enough sample to finish running everything, call the aformentioned person(gracefully again I might add..) to verify why exactly she cant follow advice...reasons like she will get killed if she asks the patient again a 3rd time..no more specific test tube so she run using another type which caused the problem in the first place..when she knows perfectly well that we have stock of the specific tubes needed...so I grab 3 boxes and deliver it upstairs on my own initiative...and get scolded by the doctor for not specifying that since I have only so little sample I should call and ask which test to do/prioritize????!!!!!

Hello, it is NOT our perogative to ask which tests are to be prioritized..if anything it should be the doctor's perogative to indicate which is more important, or at least the nurse's perogative to ask the doc and indicate which is more important lah....what am I, a fortune teller?? SO let me get this straight, everytime the doctor asks for more than 1 test, I have to call and ask which is more important...wow in that case I would have no more time to do any other work then....then what is the use of a nurse who gets paid more than I but has absolutely no initiative to do her job properly?? Ie ask the doctor to indicate which test is more important, or realise that the patient is difficult and so at least take initiative & use common sense to select a more appropriate tube I mean c'mon will somebody just shoot me here..nothing I do is right apparently...

and this right after I went for therapeutic massage..darn if I had known this would happen today I would have held off and just went tonight instead...oh well, whats done is done, and I have a back which looks like I got hugged by an octopus..yep, I did the traditional Chinese cup suction thingy which supposedly sucks out the 'bad wind' from the body...well, felt lighter..but only for a night...duh considering what happened.. *knocks head in frustration against a wall*

*snaps his neck around looking for where two weeks have gone to...*

Two weeks..nothing happened...day after day..living one day at a time...its all a blur...
so sad...life is like a routine for me...work eat sleep work eat sleep...got a new staff which is great when one staff is going on leave...but training is so difficult when there's loads of work to do..oh well short term pain long term gain...

Oh I'm happy, I finally got a watch to replace my old watch of 7 years...apparently its a combination of 3 yrs of b'day presents at one go...thanks Mum & Dad...

funny conversation with a friend just now...she says that as you go up the executive ladder (ie career path..) the balls go smaller...eg coolies play soccer which is a big 'ball' while the execs in the office play golf which is a 'small' ball...

this was my reply...

"yeah but funny how the higher the ladder you climb the 'stick' gets longer...go figure...

Anyway thats all the energy I have for blogging..I swear Im numbed no more motivation for doing anything..nothing interests me now..I need something interesting to do...thinking..thinking...oh well cant be bothered I think I'll go sleep now...

It matters to me...it is my conscience...not yours

The unrelated:-

Hey there ppl...long time no blog...relatively long for me anyway....whirlwind events keep coming...all at once...a tribute to a person I met only twice...Im sorry to hear about what happened...I hope you are in a better place...

Its been two months and a bit since you left...there's still a gaping hole where you were, the hurt is still there..ebbing, dying, but never fully going away...I cherish the memories, swallow the bitter lesson, I know you are happier for it, then so be it...I can only hope...eventually...
I hope he treats you right..whoever he is or will be...yet again I hope that it will not be? The pain...

To YOU...I sincerely apologize....I couldnt bring myself to continue this way, that would be a leaden burden on my conscience, the fact that you were more so than I, however much hope you had in me, I had to do this, for otherwise, the hurt would be far deeper...for you..I could not bring myself to continue, not in my present frame of mind & heart..in essence a heart divided?That would be a sacrilege to your efforts and YOU deserve better...its not anyone's fault the timing was wrong...I hope you can forgive me...Im sorry.

Back to simple life?? What about common sense?

Just the other day, I was thinking "hmm...what to do for our happy hour..dont want the usual overpriced drink at a cafe.."
So I called the usual 'gang' and went down to the wharf in town..where all the satay stalls are...and I realised that I'd almost forgotten the beauty of sitting at a riverside table with a view of Kg Ayer on the other side, watching the sun set, having a few sticks of satay and coconut juice...traditional fare...although there were a few silly things like...you know there's a zebra crossing which spans the road from the riverside stalls to the parking lots opposite and absolutely no cars stop for you when you want to cross the road...or the slight whiff of fermenting river water due to the amount of rubbish in it...well I guess that adds to the quaint sights and sounds (smells??) of Brunei

In another time frame, last night I was going home from work...now I'm making a right turn to get up to the highway across a lane, now this junction is dark, fine I can see this one car's headlights, wait for it to pass, then go, then suddenly I see a dark blue Honda CRX with no headlights on screaming in VTEC zone down the road & I got the shock of my life....I mean its logical that if you want to kill yourself by limiting your vision fine, dont take collateral damage with you...after crossing the road, barely, looking into the rearview mirror and see that its brake lights ARE on but not its headlights...prat...

Recipie for??

Hello world...Im back!! If you're wondering where Ive been these couple of days well Ive been travelling with friends...okok...yea it was just over the sea to Labuan (*AGAIN??!!!!*) Well I was craving...so anyway here's a recipie for craziness...get off boat dehydrated...buy a few bottles of wine..go to Murphy's..have a beer along with Bangers & Mash (fancy name for sausages and mashed potato), have a liquer mix..go back and open a wine...finish that, bring TWO bottles to Sheraton with intention for dinner BUT have a cocktail first at the bar...then go down to dinner..now here is where it gets crazy...ignore one of YOUR own bottles while paying the corkage fee, to purchase a bottle of SHERATON's wine (well..no arguments but it was Californian Napa Valley Zinfandel, who can resist??) with dinner...then peruse a Sheraton voucher to purchase 1kg (ONEWHOLEKILOOFCAKE WHAT WERE WE THINKING OMG!!!!) go back and open yet another bottle of beer...u knw, this gives me a sense of deja-vu here...anyway yea u know what...after that dinner in Sheraton Labuan..I question the economics of having dinner in Sheraton Brunei...dinner for 3 at Sheraton Brunei costs roughly around B$150+...while that Labuan dinner for 3, including the Zinfandel cost RM$160 (ok so we had a Starwood card but RM160??!!!) as always its Sheraton, excellent food & service...good company (u know who you are amongst us 3 but u were on Cloud 9 after 1st realising that they had that Zinfandel, and then drinking it!!!) anyway yea all in all a great holiday, pity we got rained out for a bit...but yea..memories to remember by..good food, wine and laughs all the way....cheers, bottoms up, toasts to health, work, whatnot.....Im goin to bed now..

Woah...now I know wat a hamster feels like...

So I just came back from work...took the long way home..relaxing with the music pumped up and generally just letting pressure seep away...then I just thought...I'm just like a hamster..you know, when you walk into a pet shop and see those hamsters in cages, with a few sticks to climb on and a big wheel to exercise..where they trundle on and run..going nowhere...just like today...get to work, do what is supposed to be done..then *bam*, break down..so there goes a long process of transferring to another machine to run the same tests over again..what difference is that compared to said hamster running in the wheel, going nowhere? Just a thought...does anyone else feel that way? Well those that are in a 9-5 job anyway...I can just see it..

US -7am wake up - 8am work - 12pm lunch - 1pm work - 5pm home
Said hamster - 7am wake up - 8am get on wheel - 12pm lunch - 1pm get on wheel - 5pm get off wheel

Anyone see the similarities here?? Or begs to differ...hmm I wonder..

On and on and on...

So I step into the house after a 24 hr emergency shift at work...its all dark even though its only 9pm..ok everyone went up de...*OUCH* who in the world leaves a new study table in the middle of the living room...so anyway I bounce my way upstairs on one & a half feet and Im met by my a green monster which resembles my dad...oh wait..it is my dad; and what is that stench--wet grass...urgh! Apparently its a herbal skin rejuvenation thingy...oh well...stumble into my own room...aagghh...wat is dat smell?? oh...its the smell of new furniture..a new bed in fact...hmm..finally I can sleep without worrying about rolling off or waking up in the middle of the night with a sore back...hahaha...woah tired...I think Im gonna crash nw....sleeps catching up with me...

Crazy...

Work is defined as (by me anyway) something which is enjoyed occasionally, not more often than not, which does its duty to pay bills..well and then there are crazy days...like today when I had to go back to the office (on a Sunday!!) to sort out a machine problem...right after being on duty from Saturday morning..hmm..anyway thank God it was minor..then I had 'chores'...car duty, went looking for a clock for the dining area...I love IKEA...they have many nice prints..pity I dont hv d house to put it in...decided on getting some stuff for house decor...all in all a v bz day...n its nice to be able to sit down nw n put down my thoughts on 'paper' and clear my mind for tomorrow...its gonna be bz...I can feel it in my bones...

Its official...Martini Asti is EVIL!!! with a capital E!!

Work...emergencies...dealt with it...close case...then Dinner out again..I swear I think Im gonna end up like a pig soon...but since Im on a quest for good food...the price of living huh...but yea went to dinner tonight...did the whole 3 course thingy..3 ppl, 2 bottles, 1 WB Merlot...ok la, but I reckon it was a bit too early to open it...but it was ok with the steak tho...when it came to dessert...omg a light mousse topped with cream and Martini Asti...omg omg omg...I can NOT believe what Im tasting!!!! It compliments each other so SO well that I went into dreamland...as in start with the usual sip n taste which went to pouring it right into the mousse itself & having it there & then...& then to top it off had another LONG car ride as well...thank God I wasnt driving...perfect end to the day... ;) definately NOT looking forward to working tmrw..esp since its a PUBLIC HOLIDAY!!! oh well...

Kenangan Terindah...sampai masa untuk diketepikan bagi kejayaan...

I dont know why I feel so out of place today with myself...its the whole day that I was feeling out of kilter & it was only when This song "Kenangan Terindah" came up at 8.30pm that it all came in a rush to me...everything that has happened...its time for me to finally sort out my life, my fears and my direction for the future...moving on is one thing, but has anyone have any idea just how difficult it can be? Im trying, God knows Im trying but hey cut me some slack here, throw me a bone, give me some moral support or something..Im doing this alone here...friends can only get you so far & dear cuz thanks a lot for your advice & moral support however its the final 10% which is the hardest & ultimately the only person who can hurdle it is myself...

Of particular note is how a certain someone's encouragement, not by means of direct moral support, but by a roundabout way of accepting me for who I am, unpieced together as yet I may be, has helped me a lot in this matter..uncanningly giving me an outlet by allowing me to direct my frustration with myself in another way, as well as getting my mind off issues, has kept me sane and off the brink of depression...thanks...you have an eerily accurate method of analysing me and pointing out to me each & everything...

Anyway for the moment I think Ive got issues to work on still..I guess its just me that when Im in transition Im not in the mood to meet anyone until I deem myself acceptable to myself before I meet others..to all my true friends out there who have not heard from me since Feb 14th...Im stil alive but bear with me, I think it will be some time yet....

rollercoaster...

Finally I got the time to sit down & continue my blog...hectic these few days I tell you...it seems like im a hamster running in the 'wheel'..so anyway met someone who's really interesting...hahaha...I dont know but Ive never had such far reaching & interesting conversations..anyway yea..so there I was at a cafe, doing wat everyone does, ie chat abt nothing...well those who know me know dat I wear a certain bracelet, tigers eye to be exact...well anyway we were jus chatting abt nothing when suddenly wor-

*points towards me across d table, fingers slightly downwards* "May I take a look at your balls?"

What? *mind befuddled and extremely confused*

*still pointing at the bracelet* "I know Im not supposed to touch it but is it ok if I take a look at ur balls?"

*Looks towards where the finger is pointing-oh* "You mean this bracelet? Arent they called beads?"

"Beads, balls-same thing, round..so can I see?"

Anyway yea, I wonder...but the moment was hilarious...oh oh...on another note Ive never gone on such a long drive..I mean I have la, like for 1/2 hr like dat, I love drives but dat night I think we were driving continously for 2hrs straight..amazing...conversation flowed like endlessly...thanks a lot hey, it was refreshing...

Oh and the canteen has been taken over by none other than the Empire Hotel & Country Club management...this is how the conversation went btw me & the staff-

"I'll have the meatballs & veg, and can I sample the chicken so I can order it tomorrow"
"Sorry sir, we wont be having this tomorrow.."
"Ok then I'll order it when it comes around next week's menu then"
"Actually sir, according to our chef, we will be changing our menu everyday so its not guaranteed that it will come again soon"

Right. I think this is a very good thing, for the food lover in me, its going to be a WONDERFUL time!!!! yippeee bring it on...5 star hotel food at canteen prices....gastronomic adventure begins!!!

T'was a good time...we should do it again...

Im pretty happy with myself today....Ive had the greatest time of late...300 is excellent, touching at times...although there is an opinion that its a movie for both guys and girls but to me I reckon there's a bit too much gory details for that...but who am I to complain....company was great, although food was a bit off par but who cares?? Smashing...we should do it again...although next time Im driving & we're going someplace else fro makanz...hehehe...now got new kaki to go makan...yay!! Time to start off culinary adventure...now to sleep 1st...being woken up at 3.45am to go to work is a bit....interesting so to speak...so I gotta catch some zzz's 1st...

Mmmm...

You know...I just realised exactly how much I love good food, accompanied by a gd wine...I mean I just came back from Deal's, and it brought home the truth about how pleasant it is for me to have good food, wine and good company...its like Ive found my solace...my relaxation space...my outlet to stress...I feel sated...I think it will be my mission to eke out more good places to dine in, fine dining...that should make things great for me...and really honestly..I think after what happened..Ive pretty much made up my mind about the type of company I would like to keep around...*lets just see what happens*...which are on my level or above..anyway let it all work out itself..Im gonna crash...

Blog about....???

So...as the days go by....suddenly I realise its already end of MARCH!!! Oh dear, where has time flown to...what has happened?? Ive got writer's block now..have no idea what to write...oh finally I've managed to pare down & categorise the music in my Ipod...finally I know where all the songs are...*whew* dunno abt u guys, but clearing up clutter is very therapeutic...I feel a sense of clearing and it seems to make me feel happier than I ever was since..a month ago...

By the way, if anyone reading this blog happens to be in Brunei, is male, and yearns for a refreshing range of men's shoes, could do with going down to Lai Lai in Seri Batu Satu..the men's shoe range there are youthfully designed and believe me more is to come...Ive personally not seen such fresh modern and bold designs which are so able to carry off the executive 'officer' look while being trendy and bold at the same time at any other shop at the prices they carry...take a look especially in the coming months...there will be even bolder designs coming...

Hmm...I better get off....I need mua sleep, got work tmrw...ciaozz

On....

On you...

Its been just over a month that you've left...I never believed this but time does heal...I still feel the hurt sometimes, but its slowly ebbing away...the times we had, I will always cherish, however, most of all, I will cherish what you gave me...by leaving me, you took a part of me which left a void for me to realise that I needed to fill it with something else valuable in life, THE LESSON. In the past month, and even now, I can only hope that we will be able to remain close eventually...for it was only YOU that was able to do this to me...I hope....with all my heart...thank you...for without you I would not have been able to grow stronger...

Career advancement....vs...???

Had some trouble with our machine at work today, finally the engineer came...fm S'pore...so he's doin his job when out of d blue I have sudden 'inspiration' to ask...
"So you fly in & out of different countries most of the time?"
"Yeah, it can get v tiring, especially since I dont like to travel"
"Ok, I guess that means u fly out for a couple of weeks then head back to home base only for 3 days, that kind of engineer job level?"
"THANK GOD no...I would quit straightaway..family wouldn't be able to take it"
"Hmm..I know a medical engineer who's semi-permanently posted overseas, 6 mths at a time.."
"OMG, hw can the family stand it?"

Basically at this point I realised we in the medical field do sacrifice quite a bit...I mean lets take our resident surgeon, who flies in in the morning, does the surgery & flies out at night or 1st thing the next day back to Singapore to attend to patients there...or our own local doctor who 4 nights out of 7 is on duty, as is his wife...or lets take my own boss who goes home at 7 almost every night, sometimes coming back to work at midnight when there's emergencies, or Sundays..I mean...are we missing something here? Strive to save so many lives, or make others' lives better,neglect our own...for what?Doctors (overseas) with high divorce rates, neglected families...or singles in this field whose time is so sapped up by work that personal & social life becomes stunted (I personally know 1)...I guess that is the price to pay...its like nursing, its a vocation *a job not for the sake of working but for the interest to sacrifice for others* all too often people work for the wrong reasons....maybe a step back for re-evaluation will work wonders....does wonders for professionalism as well within the job...anyway enough ranting & raving....for now...Im off to re-evaluate my life...

So what?

I swear thickness in the head...can be correlated to density of bone matter in the abovementioned place...I mean seriously how many times do I need to say the same thing so that someone will get it?Ok fine..lets put it this way, isnt it not the mature thing to do that since there is really no other intentions other than to make social contacts, to make allowance for social contact?N seriously, there should be no ultimatum as to choice between the abovementioned or friendship..especially when it involves contacts potentially to further potential business relations...OK since this is my blog...I might as well let it all hang out...peeps...someone please justify spreading rumors abt losing temper & slapping the table BUT not mentioning this fact: when in fact the same person had already asked me to 'settle it outside'..THRICE!!! As in all-out down n dirty caveman style brawling...For God's sake, grow up!!! Since Im whining here might as well let it all out...so anyway I believe I have my right to talk to any person I want, make contacts with any person I want, without the perception that by doing that means automatically hitting on the person...THIS I believe is the mature way of thinking...otherwise this whole world would come to a standstill where by talking to any girl means hitting on them?Please duh!! And since Im on this topic...no sane person would ask his friend to choose between 1)friendship and 2)not contacting a girl which is liked not by me, for possibly business relations purposes...I mean, which would you choose? So in the reality, to choose 1 means that whenever I see that girl, at a social funtion organised by daddy for business friends...I should turn away n avoid her?? What rubbish and its sad to listen to such drivel...peeps feel free to comment...& I maintain my stand on this matter...On a brighter note, today went well at work for me!!!yippeeee!!!!!

Ironically....

Yay!! Parents came back already...woah talk abt a shopping trip...finally i get a pendrive of my own and hmm other stuff s well...anyway so thing is things happen for a reason and only now I can see the full circle of what is happening...lets just say Ive just about reached ground zero and where the old me would mope about it, I think I will approach this as the proverbial blank sheet of paper and rewrite my life character on it...after all I think thats the least I deserve to do to myself...mind you, after whats been done to me...I think I deserve to at least see what I can do with my abilities...why should one be constrained by peer pressure and expectations...??Or not...

I wonder how that happened...

Here I am, back again...a situation happened yesterday which got me thinking, you know with all that government initiative for encouraging SME (small-medium enterprises) to start up & contribute to the economy..has led to a mushrooming of small mum-n-pop enterprises..which is all great and fine..until what I experienced last night got me thinking...I think we're missing something fundamental here...
So Im with my friend going around looking for a night snack when we get to this place in the estates...so order 2 packs of food, costs $2, pass the lady $10.. can you believe the reply was
"Sorry boss, no change available.." hmm...why? "Boss, my boss took away all the change already" Uhh....what followed was a total 'strip' search of the car to dig up all the coins we could find...ended up with a grand total of.......$1.80!! So how? "Ok lah, wat to do.."
Someone please tell me is that totally unreal or not, you're running a midnight business & any basic common sense should know that as long as your business is open you should leave some change...so because of this the business has effectively lost profit???hmm...
anyway yea on another note...its annoying when our intentions are misinterpreted...especially when friendships are concerned...most especially so when the intention has been attempted to be clarified twice but not taken...I hope that it all clears up in the end...happiness is a prized commodity and that should not be taken for granted...on a happier note, thank God the parents are coming back...now the house will be full again...

On growing up...and Harry Potter

So I was thumbing thru d local newspaper the other day and came across an article on Daniel Radcliffe and how he had starred in a film with sex scenes and hence was seen as an automatic 'outcasting' from the Harry Potter 'genre' so to speak..the whole doesnt-fit-with-the-image-of Harry Potter anymore...and that got me thinking...he's finally grown up..its the whole McCauley Culkin (I spelt that right??) drama all over again, albeit with a tad more success...this whole outgrowing of a role which a person is associated with (is it typecasting??)..its time to taste the world at its fullest, and not just a piece of it, not to linger with something but to move on, to chase the cheese so to speak..on the other hand I was watching "The Devil Wears Prada" and the whole story just hit me in between the eyes like a truck...wow that is the epitome of what happens to people when they subtly get sidetracked in the quest for success and cast away all others important...I can humbly say that that movie was a tad educational and brought home a few facts to myself....but hey who said life was a bed of roses, even roses have thorns..urgh..dont remind me...roses...overpriced only on a certain week as if its the sacred offering & the key towards a certain goal, yet is priced as a normal flower the other 358 days of the week, talk about irony, hypocrasy, etc etc...go figure!!

A post about nothing...

Finally, I can step back, relax and unwind...after a highly eventful friday-saturday, its nice to be able to step back, relax and sit at home doing nothing on Sunday..I even found time to catch up on movies & go hiking...what a relief...anyway today is d last day of the CNY celebs...nothing to celebrate anyway...hope everything turns out alright....what an eventful CNY this year was...lets hope that all goes well for the rest of the year...anyway Im off now...

Wow what a cake...

So Im at a birthday party, my dear cuz is a grand 4 yrs old...so so cute....its nice to have something to celebrate....so yea I walk into my uncle's house n the first thing that strikes me (literally) is a kid dat was running across d living room..ahahaa..2nd thing that strikes me is "woah, dats a lot of kids" hmm...but yea d party was great, plenty of catching up w uncles n aunties, nice to be able to unwind for a bit...anyway its a usual family & friends birthday affair, typically messy n organised chaos, if you know what i mean..then the birthday cake comes out...hmm..thats 3 tiers of cake, for a 4 yr old b'day girl...n you know what, it was brought down in individual cake boxes by granddad...wow...thats nice...anyway like I said, it was great...gotta go catch some zzz's nw...

O...k....how much more can a guy take?

It all comes to a head now...earlier today I thought I had it bad, but I was coping fine, was ok..yesterday's emergency scheduled surgery for today went ok..so collective sighs of relief fm everyone in d office, then *bam* emergency surgery at 1600 hrs...wth?? time check 1545 hrs..wat?? Anyway d old me would be mad at it, but the new me, I just grin n bear, n u knw wat its alright. But dats not d point, today i learnt that my own problems are trivial and this is d final lesson for me. Or so I thought..so at 1620 hrs two 'kids' (cos they're only 18) comes in and wanna donate blood..ok so their dad's the patient..right daddy's blood is O Positive, n so I check d son's blood type first..nw Im normally not attuned to patient's feelings cos dat is rightly professional to get on w d job..but when he came in with wet eyes, I mean I can understand cos dad's in surgery & it was already trauma for d poor kid to have that I mean wat can u expect fm dat tender age, but u knw when he broke down when I told him that he was B Positive blood type...& his sister was B type as well...my heart broke there & then..luckily his older bro n frens helped out to get other friends to donate..anyway thats stage 1, nw comes stage 2..just reached home fm 1 hospital at 2130 hrs after having my heart shattered in an argument, call up my cuz..n HE says he's going to hospital..Im like "why are u going to hospital?" and he goes "Uncle Two fell down and is in hospital nw, unstable and unconscious, with a fractured pelvis (hip bone) & 2 vertebrae (spine) fracture something or other.." Right. "Ok can u drop over and pick me up n we go visit him" *still have no clue as to hw serious it is* until i reach the hospital and see him lying almost comatose on the bed with drips everywhere, connected to an ECG machine and getting blood transfusion cos his blood pressure is too low & unstable..with d doctors description of injured bladder, fractured pelvis (hip bone), broken arm, hopefully will stable within 24 hrs...probably need 2nd surgery to stabilise the hip bone fracture...then it hits me...i dunno how to describe that feeling...I seriously dont...

The mind and heart association..

The mind and d heart are two fickle associations...seriously I think its all in d head...u know how u long for something or some situation to happen, and get depressed over it, then u get this crushed feeling in your heart, sorrow and all dat..then when ur bz at work, it all goes away because u concentrate...at work. But the minute, the VERY minute you get spare time to yourself it all comes back...like I said, fickle. So the only solution is?Get as tired as possible, so that u drop dead literally (well, almost) & not have to think abt it..makes sense...if it wasnt so exhausting...well..life goes on, and it gets a little, minuscle, but little better each day to face reality & make sure life goes on...the thing is, maybe, just maybe, I might be able to give myself wholly again....in the meantime just be happy for others...

Why do people even bother?

SO here I am writing with a dull headache..why, you may ask do I have a headache..well the story goes like this: After everything that had happened to me in the past couple of weeks, things finally came to a head...the ups and (mostly) downs culimated in an unplanned impromptu drinking session...well, to summarise it up, I was downing wine by the glassful when it all rushed to my head...hmm...from wat little i can remember is along the lines of this.."...hmm its cold drinking this is nice....omg why cant i see anything, its all gone white...y am I in d toilet puking? wow I can feel it smash through my head...y am I puking again?wow, I never been able to walk this not-straight before...crap, nw I cant walk, need to lie down...hmm who's driving?its my car...crap I need to puke.." SO then I open the door, start puking out of d car..hmm get home, puke again n drop to bed..wake up this morning with a headache..but yea I think Ive puked all d sorrow out of my system nw and then I feel closure nw...I think the upcoming days are gonna b fairly educational and I feel that Ive progressed a step more in life...now to deal with this headache...ciao!!Except dat Ive one piece of advice...dont drink to drown sorrows, its not worth d trouble...

Oh well...

Life's like a box of chocolates...you never knw wat ur gonna get..oh well, life's lessons learnt, I played a game with too high stakes and lost it all...hurts like hell but yea life needs to go on...anyways Im off to sleep nw...lets see what tomorrow brings...

Another CNY open house...work tmrw...

Another open house..this time in Bunut area...hmm I noticed something in common with wealthy families...or is it just me?? Why do all of them display all their family photos everywhere???I guess its what gives them happiness that allows them to do their money making thing whole-heartedly....hmmm...same caterers so food yesterday n today was similar...funnily enough when I go to I-Lotus to eat it seems so-so only but by catering their food seems better...anyway tmrw start work...its a new change of attitude for me I guess...considering its a new year and all...this year onwards should be a good 'un...lets hope everything else in my life turns for d better s well...cheers all I'm off...

CNY visit..wow...canna I strive to achieve tat??

Oh my God!! I can't ever believe people can be so wealthy...I mean, I know some rich people who have a decent 2 storey house n a few cars...but this just blows me away...so anyway yesterday my dad goes like: "My golf friend ask us to go to his open house for CNY visiting, must go ah..." Yea ok ok...another dull bland old aunty-uncle meeting...wait a minute...we're going to Beribi...huge as in HUGE place...its like the gate alone is prob worth more than my car..so its a long driveway w a garage which has FANS..who uses fans in the garage??I mean are your cars hot???so anyway we step into d house n "OHMYGOD..this looks exactly like Empire Hotel!" Ive never seen a house with a huge spiral staircase leading up to the 1st floor b4...mind u there are 3 floors!!!I mean ok theres a bar, 3 seperate living rooms, a karaoke room, huge dining room with louis vitton-alike furniture which looks out to a garden patio n coconut trees i mean its like a hotel..n omg why is d place so cold?duh! its all marbled floor...anyway yea we went on d grand tour...huge bedrooms with networked system with laptops n desktops in every room..n omg is dat a walk in closet and a jacuzzi in d master bedroom n why oh why is d place so cold!!!Anyway everyone had a good time food was good..its an eye opener..anyway I gtg nw...wondering exactly hw to get wealth like dat...d house is so so so comfy...

1st post: Labuan, wine, chocolate and food...

hmm..this is my 1st time blogging it feels weird esp since ive never even kept a diary....oh well...so yea came back fm Labuan yesterday...2nd X in abt 7 yrs...last trip all i remembered was sea-sickness n hot weather...this trip was all food n wine n omg can u believe d variety of chocolate on offer....if anyone wants to share redwine choco..or whiskey o champagne choco hehehehe.....stupid thing tho going there...happily gone there thinking to release stress w gd food..then *bam* "sorry sir, red tide no clams or prawns available"..u tell me wat else i can eat in a place surrounded by water...ugh...oh well at least d german white wine was gd....hmm portview does a pretty mean sweet n sour chicken dish...pity abt d service tho...appaling doesnt even begin to describe it...so yea my cuz... goes "Where to get to Pulau Labuan hotel" at the ferry terminal
The very kind attendant "u turn left here then walk straight n u see a green building dats it, abt 10 mins walk"
Seriously not an insult but when dat walk involved 2 right turns and a left n 15 minutes Im wondering wat d definition of straight is...please feel free to enlighten me...anyways i think i gotta off nw...ciao..